When sorry is not enough

"We’ve all found ourselves hurting someone at some point, sometimes we hurt someone so much that it leaves a cavern in their heart and no words can heal the hole you leave behind. I hurt someone I really cared about not so long ago, and sadly she’s still hurting, and it’s difficult to watch from where I’m standing, because right now I’m in a place where I’m happy and in love. I guess we’re standing on two sides of a river, and she’s watching me happily content and moving on with my life, every now and again I glance across this river and I can see sadness in her heart and it hurts to know that it’s my fault. 
I never quite understood the perplexity of love before, and I guess I can’t say that I ever will but I guess it never occurred to me that I would wind up hurting someone like that, and the saddest part is I never once stopped to think how much I could hurt her, how much capacity I had. I feel guilty for being this happy, because every time I glance across this river I am met by an image of what my hands molded, and consequently destructed. 
You see when you’ve been hurt before, and believe you me, I have, you sort of come to the belief that you would never do the same to someone else, but it’s that negligent belief that because you’ve been hurt, you no longer hold the capacity to then inadvertently hurt someone else. It’s that very belief that leads you to hurting someone. I can’t apologise enough, but I am sorry, that was never my intention. I guess sometimes I question which is worse, hurting someone intentionally or hurting someone unintentionally, because regardless of intention the end result remains the same.
To you; 
I’m sorry, I never expected things to work out the way they did, I never thought that you would be as hurt as you are, I can’t take back the things that I said and did. I can’t be there to fix them, but I am, from the depth of my heart sorry, for right now that’s all I can be, I hope one day someone comes along and heals your heart, I’m sorry that someone else has to pick up the mess that I made. "

-unknown author-