May 24, 2013

My aching heart

It's been awhile since I updated my blog and today i feel like updating it because ok fine i admit because i'm lonely.i got noone to talk what better way than talking to urself on ur blog?that's right!i shall begin my quest of self talking on my own blog because honestly no one reads my blog so who cares?anyways, i've been very depress lately and i don't even know why.KL is tiring me out and i found myself becoming one of those people ur mum warned about the bad influence and peer pressure i will put u thru.i don't know why am i such a late bloomer.all my friends has been there done that and over it and here i am stuck in this phase.OH WHY?!seriously why am i such a late bloomer when it comes to rebelling?maybe i'm not good at rebelling?i'm only good at pleasing ppl that i'm not suppose to?aihz.....this substance abuse issue has to stop!but i can't because the happiness that comes with it and the good night sleep u get every night is i really depress right now?i'm not sure but there's a void in my heart and i don't know how to fill it.truth to be told i'm a very lucky person.i basically get what i want but still how come there is still a void in my heart?i don't understand!when will i get up from slumber?i feel demotivated and sad all the time.but i already have everything i wan!so it's true when they say that when someone is spoiled with choices,they tent to want more?i never see myself as someone who's very spoilt but then again which child will admit that they are spoilt la?so here i am,someone who others describe as the very bubbly and happy child is actually so broken inside that she cry herself to sleep when no one is looking thinking what happened?why am i so broken?why am i so upset?why am i like that?how come i turn out this way?or am i just thinking too much?this is so tiring.i just wanna lay here and let the world go pass me and die in my sleep.if only that is possible.*long sigh*

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