kuala-la-la lumpur

so i'm back from kl and i miss it already.not the city but the moment i spend with my love ones.i feel so happy there coz i feel wanted.i feel ppl actually welcome me there.i do not feel rejected and no one is judging me.it was just awesome being myself and even staying at home watching dramas for endless hour feel so blissful.i can't wait to go there and start a new life?leave everything else behind?is that even possible?i do not know.ok enough of me mumbling about my crappy feelings.

newayz i went to kl for uni survey and saw a glimpse of my future (hahahahaha fucking exaggerating to the max) and i liked wat i saw :) and i fell down and now i have bruises everywhere.they looked like abuse mark.hahahahahaha and and I GOT WASTED IN KL!hahahahahaha fucking alcoholic i know and for the first i officially club wif heng fong which was awesome.after all the years -____-" most importantly i actually spent time wif ❤ ones.it was so awesome that i didnt want to come back ipoh.i wanted to stay there.at least i haf distraction instead of feeling like crap like now :/

now that i am back ipoh,i dunno wat to do and kept me thinking what if i go to my chosen uni and noone like me there?coz all the ppl in the uni so "atas" and i'm like "pariah" how to blend in?i really do have that fear lorr.....i don't trust ppl nowdays.i learnt that i am fucking gullible lorr.whatever ppl tell me,i go believe and then in the end get myself hurt/used.i think i haf "pls use me" written all over my forehead.i am not saying every of friends or ppl meet is like that but it's just lately that seem to be the case so i duwan throw my heart out like that and then get hurt.awful feeling!!so yeah i am only human,of coz i haf fear and insecurity and all those shit.argh!fuck it i dun even know wat am i writing anymore.newayz thanks for wasting ur life reading this lifeless post.